Title: Spring Cleaning
Author: rose_whispers
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Remus/Severus
Summary: Spring fever is in the air, and Remus isn't immune when he discovers something in Severus' wardrobe. Featuring a bit of crossdressing.
Word Count: 1832
A/N: Written in honour of karasu_hime's LJ anniversary, using the prompt "the coming of spring". Also, please excuse my Latin. I have naught but a crappy online dictionary to aid me with the creation of inappropriate spells. Cross-posted to lupin_snape



When Severus Snape flung open the door of his dungeon classroom with his usual malevolent flare, he was shocked by the sight before him. Not just the sight, but the sound. The children, fourth-year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who would normally cower in quivering silence once his presence was known, were chattering merrily to each other. He could hear at least one person whistling tunelessly, and that Smythe brat had his feet up on his desk. Severus bristled. He marched to the front of the classroom with the most sinister sneer he could muster covering his face.

And no one noticed.

Or if they did, they didn’t show any signs of caring. The potions master stared in utter disbelief at the class. He could hear bits of conversation, mostly centering on Quidditch and picnics and the next Hogsmeade weekend. To his dismay, an absurd amount of flirting was occurring. The youngest Patil girl even had new spring blossoms braided into her hair, which she was playing with while smiling coyly at Sumner Fellows.

Ah. Spring. He’d forgotten about spring. The last few years had been lived under the threat of destruction at the hands of the Dark Lord, a state of affairs that made for rather subdued moods. But now, now that a year had gone by since Potter had vanquished Voldemort into grimly satisfying oblivion, spirits were running high and spring fever was definitely in the air.

"If," Severus began, his tone quietly poisonous, "you've all decided that you'd like to stay in this classroom during lunch and your evening hours for the next week, pickling harpy livers and removing corrosive stains from the bottom of every cauldron in Hogwarts, by all means, continue this behaviour."

The class froze, the levity draining from the dungeon with alacrity. Severus smirked at them, noting more than one set of eyes widen with fear. "I realise that sitting down and actually forcing your less than superior minds to concentrate on the task at hand is a terribly trying circumstance for me to demand of you. Nevertheless, we shall begin. Today you will brew a complex restorative. If prepared wrong, the drinker's appearance will be, shall we say, less than pleasant."

The urchins squirmed in unison, and Severus allowed himself to indulge in the tiniest twinge of victory before proceeding. "The next person I see mooning over someone will feed his or her potion to the object of his or her adolescent affection. Won't that be an interesting experiment."

The fourth-years settled down under his menacing tutelage, but each subsequent group arrived even more jolly and perky than the class before it. Severus spent his lunch hour in his office, avoiding the madness. By the time his classes were finished and the unfortunate recipients of evening detention had fled his presence, his mood had gone from thunderous to weary.

"Sanctuary," he muttered as he trudged down the corridor toward his chambers. His impeccable rooms, perfectly ordered and not at all merry. That bottle of cognac Remus had given him for his birthday. And Remus himself. Severus suppressed what threatened to be an actual smile gracing his lips. Remus would be in the study, grading papers or revising his curriculum. Or possibly just curled up with a book, waiting for Severus to arrive. Severus wanted to hate how... domestic he’d become since the werewolf had moved in without so much as a by your leave. But he could never quite manage to be irked. Yes, a quiet evening with some books, some alcohol, and some Remus would be the perfect means to spell away the stench of this horrible, jaunty day.

The heart attack he very nearly suffered when he entered their rooms stole away any thought of comfort. He couldn't see his own carpet. Spread out across the floor were books in total disarray, old clothes piled haphazardly on the chairs and chesterfield, antiquated phonograph records, empty inkbottles, broken quills, and heaps of curling, yellowed parchment covered in fading script.

"LUPIN?"

"In here, Severus!"

"Where?"

"Over- ouch, bloody fucking he- Ah, here you are." The werewolf appeared from the bedroom with a strange gleam in his eyes. His cinnamon cardigan was coated with dust and his sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, revealing the lightly haired forearms that Severus took a secret delight in. As if to emphasize the chaos and the dust, he let out an almighty sneeze and then blinked a few times, looking dazed. "Supervising detentions again?"

Severus’ eyes narrowed and he curled his lip. "I thought someone had set a niffler loose in here. What in hell do you think you’re doing?"

"Spring cleaning," Remus said cheerfully. "You have so much junk stored in that bottomless wardrobe of yours, and you couldn’t find that treatise you were looking for last week, so I thought now would be the perfect time to straighten things out. You realize you have decades worth of detritus in there."

"I do. And it isn’t junk."

"I’d never have pegged you for a packrat, you know."

Severus was going to glare again, but Remus had made his way across the room and was trying to wrap his arms around the taller man. The potions master made a halfhearted attempt at a snarl. "You’re filthy. Let go."

"Help me out of these clothes, then."

Severus was far more interested in the proposition than he would ever admit. "Really, Lupin, has spring fever hit you as well?"

"Never. Now ignore the mess, Severus, and come in here a moment."

Severus' intuition gave him a good swift kick, but he disregarded it in favour of following the retreating form of his one weakness personified.

" Lots of old potions bottles, used books, and tatty old frock coats in that bottomless wardrobe," Remus said, listing each item off on his fingers.

"Your point, Wolf?"

Remus grinned, looking very much like a wolf indeed. "I despaired of ever finding the end. And then I found this."

He gestured with his wand and a garment floated out of the opened wardrobe. Severus examined it critically with his characteristic raised eyebrow. "You encountered a dress. Bravo."

The dress floated sedately before him. A forest green bodice of rich velvet. Flared skirts and sleeves of pale ivy. Silver embroidery snaking along the low collar. It looked as though it was straight out of a Muggle Renaissance festival. Severus had never seen it before, and couldn't quite understand the prurient expression currently spreading across Remus' face.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to fill in a few more blanks before I understand just what you're up to," he said at last, and he was astonished when Remus licked his lips and whipped out his wand.

"Vestis suppono subpono !"

Severus felt a momentary wash of chilly air across his pale skin, but before he had a chance to shiver he felt himself ensconced by cloth. Tightly. And he found himself staring at his own black robes floating before him. Which meant that...

"Are you out of your addled mind?" Severus howled, looking down at himself in horror. He was now snugly enveloped in the green frock. Which, he was now becoming aware, also included a corset, cinching him in and preventing adequate airflow. The skirt was a bit too short, but the sleeves pooled over his wrists, stopping just short of his fingers. He glowered at Remus.

"Oh my," Remus breathed, unabashedly ogling his paramour with a wicked grin. "Slytherin colours do look good on you, my love."

"Slytherin colours? Do you actually think this is mine?" Severus unconsciously reached for his wand before realizing that it was in the pocket of his divested vest.

"Oh, of course not," Remus said, stalking forward. Severus could almost see his werewolf-self lurking just below the surface as Remus moved with that predatory gait. He felt his body responding in spite of himself.

"Have you ever seen me in a bloody dress before, you libidinous lunatic?" Severus took an involuntary step backward as Remus closed in on him.

"I do hope I'll see it more often," Remus murmured, reaching out to rasp his fingernails lightly along Severus' cheek. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

"What I am doing to you? Remus, this dress isn't mine!" Severus tried to continue but, the shorter man was up on his tiptoes, lacing his fingers through Severus' hair and urging him downward.

When their lips met, Severus felt a current shuddering through his body, awakening every nerve ending. Damnable Lupin. The only person who could ever get away with distracting him like this. And the bastard knew it. Especially when he was doing that with his tongue. Severus moaned and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist.

"Why does it fit you so well, then?" Remus asked before ghosting his teeth along the hollow of Severus' throat.

Severus blinked, feeling lightheaded. What the hell was Remus talking about? Oh, yes. The dress. The dress that he was presently wearing. Wasn't he supposed to be mad about that? He did his best to muster his anger, but his anger was too busy enjoying Remus' fingers on his arse to give much of a damn.

"Bedroom. Now, if you please," Remus growled.

Severus smirked, gathering himself together once more. "You just put this thing on me. Are you so eager to take it off?"

Remus sank his teeth into the elegant curve of Severus' neck in response and Severus gasped. They didn't make it the bedroom. Severus' hands worked their way under his lover's robes and he lost himself in a flurry of material and hands and lips and teeth and gasps and moans and cries of complete and perfect pleasure.

As they lay in a tangled mess of limbs and fabric, catching their breath, Remus kissed Severus' chest and sighed, "that was brilliant."

The potions master did his best to garner his dignity. "You do realise that garment isn't mine."

Remus kissed Severus' shoulder. "What was it doing in your closet, then?"

"An excellent question." Severus thought for a moment as he traced lazy circles on Remus' back. "Unless... oh. Oh God."

Remus looked up at him sharply. "Yes?"

"Irma Pince had these chambers before I did," Severus said, aghast. "I moved in eight years ago. If you've pulled out all of my belongings, that must mean she left this behind."

"You do have similar figures."

"Lupin!"

"So you aren't secretly a cross dresser after all?"

Severus rolled his eyes at the pout evident in the werewolf's voice. "Well, I wasn't before today," he conceded. "Though if you're going to react this way every time, I suppose I could see fit to add it to my repertoire every now and again."

He was rewarded with a long, deep kiss. "Oh, excellent."

"On one condition."

"Anything."

Severus maneuvered them so that he was on top, pinning Remus down. "Anything? How delightful. Just wait until you see what I choose for you to wear."

Fin